Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Catfish / Online Dating Websites / Pushy People

First and foremost; dating sites. I didn't join to find dates, or find my 'soulmate' I joined, actually, out of curiosity. My friend had joined and she was talking about it (OkCupid) and so I decided to join and see what it was like, see what kind of people were on there, and so on and so forth. Call it a social experiment if you will.

You would not fucking believe how pushy people are to either meet you or add you on as many things as possible so they can increase their chances of talking to you. Which may not seem like much, but for me it's a bit much. I'm a little hesitant when it comes to adding people on things because, well, they're fucking strangers. I'm not comfortable with them at this point, and I know shit all about them so it's like, slow your god damn roll, y'know?
I mean, we can message each other on OkC, it's not a big deal. I had this one guy say I was so gorgeous and that he would be 'honored' to find out if my personality was as beautiful as my face, so he became so insistent on trying to get me to download an app on my iPod Touch that I could text him with (Because I don't own a cell phone and have no interest at the moment in getting one) or adding him on skype or facebook. I really don't see how adding me or talking to me on these things will help you get to know me? Am I missing something? We could just as easily get to know each other via message on OkC, but no. After telling him I'd rather just talk to him on there, I never heard back from him. I mean, if you're going to be pushy about doing things your way and not respecting my boundaries then you're probably not as interested in getting to know me as you claim, right?
You would not believe how pushy some people are about skype chatting. Like, this guy I was talking to for about the past 4 days or so was always trying to coerce me into talking on skype. Seeing as I barely knew him, it wasn't something I was comfortable with, so I insisted we just keep talking on there for now and even then I was hesitant to even do that because he was coming on rather strong and after asking for what I looked for in my ideal match, he goes "Wow, I'm all those things! Talk about the perfect match!"
How am I supposed to respond to that?

Once, I had this guy from new york try pushing me into meeting him in person. Seriously? I had to start ignoring his messages to get him to stop talking to me because it was so obnoxious.
Back to the skype guy for a second though. He was asking how I could get him to trust me, and so I told him that he could tell me anything he wants about himself but that still doesn't mean he'd earn my trust. I even asked him in the same message if he had ever seen the show Catfish (which, of course he hadn't.)

Catfish, for those of which don't know, is a show about this guy Nev and his friend Max and their crew going  around the country helping people who are in online relationships with people they have never met or skyped with, and they're having doubts about who the person is and would like help finding out. So Nev and Max set out to help them, dig up info on the person they're investigating and report back to the person they're helping with all the information they acquired through their investigation, eventually setting up a meeting with the person and their online lover, which, most of the time, reveals the person they were involved with to be someone either completely different, or someone who just lied about what they looked like. There's many different reasons for people to do this stuff, or why they felt like they couldn't come out with the truth sooner, and it's just fascinating, to me.

I would never catfish someone or lie to them about who I am because I just don't see the point in that. I've been in 2 online relationships before and thankfully they weren't catfishes, which I know because I skyped with them quite a bit, and still do when I get the chance.
It boggles my mind that people could lead someone on like that and then feel no remorse for it. That they don't care that they fucked with the other persons mind and emotions and manipulated them. Obviously that's not the case for everyone. Some people lied about their face and body and looks in general because they have self-esteem issues or they were afraid the person they were interested in wouldn't like them if they saw their real face, things like that. Which, I guess, is understandable. Flirting is ok, for the most part, but if you're lying to someone about who you are and you start to develop a fucking relationship with them, continuing a lie will probably not benefit you. They'd probably appreciate the truth. I know I would. Don't let it get as far as a lot of people take it.

I'll be honest, I've had fake profiles, but I've only made them with friends as a joke and the only people I contacted with them were said friends. Even if I did contact a stranger with a fake profile, I don't have the energy it would require to try and start some weird relationship with someone or lead them on.

Here's a couple Tumblrs filled with 'nice guys' and absolute pieces of shit that are on OkCupid.com:
  1. http://okcgoldmine.tumblr.com/
  2. http://okcsucks.tumblr.com/
  3. http://creepsandbigotsondatingsites.tumblr.com/
  4. http://notsoniceguys.tumblr.com/
  5. http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/okcupid
Here's a tip: Don't be like these people. And if you are those people, knock it off.

5 comments:

  1. Not of importance right nowJanuary 22, 2013 at 5:46 PM

    I came across an old omegle chat-conversation I had about two and a half years ago. In it was a link to this blog and a specific post about twilight hating.
    I'm guessing it wasn't you with whom I was chatting, but I'm guessing there's a small chance that's not true.
    I'm also guessing, if it was you, that you've had many other omegle chat conversations throughout the years, and I know, therefore, that this is a long shot. But if you have any rememberance of such a conversation it'd be really cool. It was in july 2010. You were with your friend who I named Bobcat.
    Sincerely
    Some random guy of the internet.

    ps. If this is way off I'm so very very sorry, haha. ds.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm sorry, but that wasn't me. I don't use omegle (well I used to, but I never really talked to anyone). But hey, maybe you'll come across that person one day. c:

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  4. I've run into some real crappy people on dating sites. What they say in their profile isn't true at all. I was wondering if there was a website where people blog the truth about some of these fakes and I found globogirls.com it's actually more of a social network thing for people who would like to meet travel mates from different countries. The good thing about it is that it's totally secure because they have the feature of video chatting with these girls so you'll not share your personal contacts unless you're 100% sure , One thing that I really liked was the tips on how to avoid scam and fraud.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete