Tuesday, November 7, 2017

(Beware of) eBay Mystery Boxes

MYSTERY-SURPRISE-BOX-VALUE-WAY-OVER-WHAT-YOU-PAYCurious, fascinating, and a surprise, tons of people are diving into them. It's become a thing on YouTube now (Joey Graceffa, AmazingPhil, as well as tons of other youtubers have bought them) and people are buying boxes for as much as anywhere from $10 to $1000 dollars. Sometimes more!
I do think it is a fun gimmick, definitely something that catches my interest, and I have considered buying a box in the past.

But I feel like with something like this you have to be careful, because you quite literally don't know what you could get.
For example, a youtuber I watch, Grav3yard Girl, A.K.A Bunny, recently bought a 90's themed mystery box, was totally excited and then all her hopes and dreams came crashing down around her (too dramatic?) when upon opening this box that cost $950 dollars, it was not filled with 90's memorabilia like the listing description promised but was instead filled with old thrift shop wind-breakers, a doll, an old hair-dryer, tons of little plastic gumball-machine helmets, a beanie-baby that possibly had a bedbug on it? as well as mold or actual feces on it, some kind of slime-esque "toy" that had MOLD on it, as well as other items, most of the items not even being from the 90's.
Basically instead of getting a legit 90's box, she got a health-risk.



Plenty of her subscribers have taken to the comments to point out that the contents of the box seem specifically geared towards her (this might just be speculation but I thought it was an interesting way to look at it): the doll, the hair-dryer, the description was worded with exactly what she was looking for, not to mention the fact that most of the 90's mystery boxes on eBay, if not all of them, were not there until after Bunny announced that she really wanted one (though, I do believe that most of them were possibly legit fans who wanted to make something nice for Bunny). It was, IMO, a total scam, and it was aimed directly at her, and while I know she doesn't like to give people negative reviews, I feel it might be necessary with this guy.
The description was even 100 % misleading,
"Huge Box filled with tons of 90s memorabilia. This box will have tons of value and brings back all the 90s glory. Don't miss out; trust me as a 90s kid that was a major collector this is a treasure trove. No duds.
Box items will exceed purchase price. "
Since the person who scammed her could scam again, I just want to mention him and make an example out of him. All of his listings have since been removed after various people found his eBay and probably reported him or contacted him but when he had things up for sale one of his listings was another mystery box selling for $2,000 dollars! I can't even imagine the trash that could have been in there, especially since it was literally "Mystery Surprise Worlds Weirdest", like, that could literally be anything.
"Believe me you can not even guess the the contents of this mystery; it will bring wonder, joy, laughs and confusion. Guaranteed to be the Worlds Weirdest mystery to uncover; join all your friends around for Hours of laughs and confusion with this boxes surprises in which their are a plethora."
He uses pictures like the above so you don't even know what the box is going to look like (which could be ok with some people, but his box was dirty and filled with questionable items that posed a risk to not only her health but possibly the health of her boyfriend as well, so IMO, I would prefer the listing show the actual box you'd be getting). He's definitely not the only one who does this, but he is definitely an example of the kind of people you should be wary of when looking for a mystery box to buy.
Tons of people are getting in on this craze and tons of people are potentially getting ripped off. Granted, most scammy mystery boxes will probably not be aimed at you the way his was aimed at Bunny (again, could just be speculation, just a thought). He targeted her using what she was looking for, gave it a price that suggested it was filled with tons of great and legit 90's collectibles as well as a description that misleadingly promised that that would definitely be the case, and, unfortunately, it paid off for him, and hopefully she will be able to get her money back, should she decide to try.
The above box is the box whoever 
buys this will be receiving..
All items in the box can be used for 
something even if its purpose is 
just decorative. I don't consider anything i
n it to be junk, and hopefully 
whoever buys it won't either.
Click the image to go to the listing and please
read the description
.
 
As an eBay seller (https://www.ebay.com/usr/nee_ners) I am not too pleased with people like him instilling a sense of distrust in people who go on eBay or shop on eBay, and though I don't want people to harass him, I feel like bringing attention to him and people like him might make him hesitant to try this stuff again. He's taken all of his listings down and hopefully he won't try to re-list any mystery boxes in the future, though there is no guarantee that he won't just try again on a new account or even this same account after this whole thing dies down.

I am not against mystery boxes, this is a fun concept, one that I would actually like to partake in and make my own mystery box to sell (UPDATE!: I have made my own to sell, see image to the left for details if you're interested), but when you are looking into buying a mystery box, pay attention to the pictures, as well as the details on the listing. There are people who include as much as they can about the box without spoiling the mystery and fun of it, but enough to let you know you won't be getting ripped off, or fucked over, or scammed. There are also people who don't necessarily share that much information but ensure that there is no junk without making specific and misleading promises about the contents. Again, personally, I would really only look into mystery boxes that show you an actual picture of the box you'll be receiving.
I also would recommend not spending tons of money on this sort of thing. I, personally, would never spend more than 50 dollars on a mystery box.

Like with anything you buy on eBay, really look over the listing, if you have questions, ask the seller. Try to get as much info as you can before you buy something especially if its a blind box or mystery box.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Elisa Lam Died of Hypothermia (A theory)

A smiling Asian woman wearing a red scarf and black coatThe Elisa Lam case, for anyone who might not be aware, is a case wherein a girl from Canada was traveling around in California in 2013 and stayed at the Cecil Hotel (a hotel that is, I guess, known for being haunted and having bad things happen there)
"Built as a business hotel in the 1920s, the Cecil fell on hard times during the Great Depression of the 1930s and never recaptured its original market as downtown decayed around it in the late 20th century. Several of Los Angeles's more notable murders have happened at or have connections to the hotel: Elizabeth Short, victim of the Black Dahlia murder, the city's best-known unsolved killing, supposedly made the Cecil her last stop before her death, and in 1964, Goldie Osgood, the "Pigeon Lady of Pershing Square", was raped and murdered in her room at the Cecil, another crime that has never been solved. Serial killers Jack Unterweger and Richard Ramirez, the "Night Stalker", both resided at the Cecil while active. There have also been suicides, one of which also killed a pedestrian passing in the front of the hotel. After recent renovations, it has tried to market itself as a boutique hotel, but the reputation lingers."
and while staying there, she went missing and was later found deceased in the then contaminated waters of the hotels water tanks on the rooftop after guests complained of the water being black and having a weird smell. There are many theories surrounding this fascinating case and this is mine.

This is the video of her in the elevator:


She comes off as paranoid or anxious, or both. She's hiding, she's freaking out, maybe she was having a "psychotic" episode? Whatever the case may be, she was clearly trying to avoid or get away from.... something. (Ghosts? The hotel was/is haunted. Someone?)
The hotel seems like it had a strange effect on her throughout the entirety of her stay, she even had to be moved to her own room from a shared room after her roommate complained of "odd behavior".
It might make sense if it were ghosts. She was mentally ill (bi-polar/depression), and, IMHO, I really think that ghosts can make that worse in a person. They can mess with you and make you feel crazy which can sometimes then make you go crazy. (I would not be shocked if the ghosts of the hotel had negative effects on at least some of the guests.)
It's important to note that this was NOT how Lam would normally act, not outside of the hotel, anyway, which is why this case and her behavior in the elevator is so alarming.
"Outside the hotel, Katie Orphan, manager of a nearby bookstore, was the only person who recalled seeing Lam that day. (The day of her disappearance) "She was outgoing, very lively, very friendly," while getting gifts to take home to her family, Orphan told CNN. "[She was] talking about what book she was getting and whether or not what she was getting would be too heavy for her to carry around as she traveled.""
So, rather than taking the elevator, since it clearly isn't going anywhere, she chooses to abandon it for going down the hallway, where she could possibly have made her way towards the fire escape, a direct route up to the otherwise inaccessible hotel rooftop.
In the following video, an individual shows how easy to get up there is, and he even shows that two of the tanks were left open (which, even without this case isn't a good idea anyway, because something could wind up getting in there and contaminating the water within, which is obviously what wound up happening):


I will include a comment in which someone translated what the individual was saying.
"Start from 00:23 We travel to Cecil Hotel trying to discover the secret hidden here with fear and expectation. This is LA. The place gathered huge attention after Elisa Lam's death. Cecil Hotel was splendid in the past times, but now it's only notorious after the well known murder - death of The Black Dahlia, also followed by some other mystery suicide. Now we are here, exploring the hotel, try as hard as we can to restore the truth we believed. 
00:51 The hotel isn't overcrowded. On the contrary, Cecil only has few guests. Walk through the hallway you can feel unusually cold. Some words of creepy description on the hotel's terrifying atmosphere simply are not groundless. We will explore the hotel start from the main hall and then to every corner detail. We don't do this film to satisfy our desire of playing detective. We are showing every one a clear acknowledgement of what kind of a hotel the Cecil is. From that we should avoid wrongfully misunderstanding and supernatural thoughts.
01:19 Geography position - the environment. Cecil was founded at the central of the LA city in 1927. The north is Glendale. The east is Chinese area. The south is Wellington Park. The west is Hollywood. The hotel is a "E" shape building. It has three main floor which were connected by a hallway. We can see the hotel's front, flank and back side. The following are on-the-spot investigation. The back side has a fire escape stairs 01:57 Except main hall, the other parts of the building are old 
02:04 Enter the hotel's main hall. Tips: If you are scared, turn off the page and leave. 03:08 We start from the emergent exit of the hotel's front side. The hotel has three hallway like this. This is 13th floor, For western manners. It is marked as 14th floor. 03:25 Now I turn into the main hallway that linked the three branch buildings. The elevator is right on the way. The right hand by me are public rooms such as bathroom or toilet. That means every one can get in or out. 03:40 Now we see the two elevators and the mirror. 03:45 The right side are stairs which can lead to 15th floor. Pass through the door at the 15th floor will lead to the rooftop - only hotel's staffs can open it. 03:46 The elevator won't move no matter how you press the button, until somebody press the button from another floor. 03:58 We reach the end of the third hallway. Above are details of structure of the building. 05:33 Two blind spots where you can't see while stay in the elevator. 08:08 I have no idea where the double wing doors lead to. It is a different path from we saw before. 08:57 Throw the body into the tank from here is easier than carrying it while climb the stair on the tank."
They show how easy it is to not only get to the rooftop but to climb up even higher to where one can actually get up to the top of the water tanks and then climb down onto them (they did not climb onto or into the tanks in the video, obviously) but I do believe that it shows how plausible such an action would be, and fear and paranoia can make people do some crazy things to get away from whatever it may be that they're avoiding or scared of.
I do not know if they could have been open when she went up there (it doesn't seem unlikely that they might have been), but should they have been, she could have chosen to attempt to hide within one of the tanks in the midst of her paranoia and fear, wound up getting trapped due to having no way to get back out and wound up getting Hypothermia (Hypothermia is a medical emergency that occurs when your body loses heat faster than it can produce heat, causing a dangerously low body temperature. Normal body temperature is around 98.6 F (37 C). Hypothermia (hi-poe-THUR-me-uh) occurs as your body temperature falls below 95 F (35 C)) which would explain the fact that she was naked (often in the last stages of Hypothermia, the individual who has it might feel hot to the point where they start stripping off their clothes to feel relief. Plenty of Hypothermia victims are found with little to no clothes on.) This is all going based off the thought that the water in the water tanks were cold, that the dark interior kept the water cold and thats why she would wind up with hypothermia inside one of them.
Her autopsy "revealed" her cause of death to be accidental drowning, and perhaps that is so, but I feel like in some capacity hypothermia had a role to play in her death.

As for her missing phone, I feel like maybe she had it on her earlier in the day but wound up dropping it somewhere in the midst of all this craziness to which someone then found it and kept it?

These are just thoughts I had while reading about the case, therefore this is just a theory. Obviously and unfortunately, I don't think anyone would be able to really know what happened unless they were there.
Whatever the truth may be, this is a sad case and my condolences do go out to her family.
I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments, should you have any.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Donald Trump, Hurricane Maria, and Puerto Rico *a rant*

Donald Trump is being such a disrespectful lunatic towards Puerto Rico. I feel like he doesn't actually care about any of the lives lost and the damage done, like he should, because none of the hurricanes actually effected him personally (his privilege has too much of an effect on how he acts as a president, what with his unnecessary golfing resort and the amount of time and money he spends there instead of AT WORK. when he is at work, he just makes speeches that other people write for him and tries to ruin the country. Like, Donald, you cannot just treat running a country the same way you treated running a business). especially Puerto Rico since it's outside the states.
Like, the mayor of San Juan,  Carmen Yulín Cruz, is trying desperately to help her people through this crisis that Hurricane Maria has created, but all donald did was go on A TOUR of the damage from Hurricane Harvey. the fuck?

Make America great again? or make U.S.A stand for "Unbelievably Selfish Assholes"?
Seriously, they're "lucky" it wasn't like Hurricane Katrina? is it a contest??? The damage is tragic and overwhelming regardless of how many lives were lost so far. People lost their homes, people's LIVES and LIVELIHOODS were RUINED. I'm sure at least a few people have gone missing in all of this. They don't have food, or water, or electricity. they need help (or tons of people WILL die) but instead of trying to work things out and come together for them, you call them free-loaders, say they're "lucky" and berate Carmen while holding some weird, childish grudge against her for saying your lack of action is killing them.
You are a rich, white man, you have so much power because of your position and your money but you don't even do anything good with it outside of throwing around a few insincere donations to various relief organizations just to look good or look like you care.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Hugh Hefner Passed Away -- My Thoughts

Who was Hugh Hefner?
He was THE playboy, obviously. He was someone who opened doors for women being able to express their sexuality. He was someone tons of women looked up to (and tons of men) and he was a legend.

But, who was he behind closed doors?
Hugh Hefner wasn't always someone surrounded by an assortment of blonde women. His first marriage was to Mildred. Before they got married, however, she confessed that she had cheated on him while he was in the army, and it devastated him. They went through with the marriage anyway despite the resentment and feelings of betrayal, and went on to have 10 years and 2 kids together, and she let him sleep with various women throughout their 10 year marriage out of guilt, and the hopes that it would be the glue that held it together. They divorced, finally, in 1959.
I feel like the devastation he felt from her having had cheated on him was something that he always held against her, even if he never said it out loud, and it changed the way that he respected women and acted towards women. Sure, professionally and publicly, there was respect. He was a businessman and he took what he did seriously, but behind closed doors, he was different.
Reading Holly Madison's book, ("Down The Rabbit Hole" is a very interesting read, definitely recommend) you get a lot of information about what he's like behind closed doors. About how strange it is, as well as emotionally and mentally damaging it is to live not only with him, but in the mansion in general.
"As Madison learned her first night out with Hefner and the girlfriends, sex was a requirement of living there. Wednesdays and Fridays were "Club Nights," and Hefner and his ladies would go out in Hollywood, getting VIP treatment at various clubs. (Hefner's fame as a septuagenarian sexpot novelty was then at its peak.) Hefner offered Madison a Quaalude, telling her, she writes in Down the Rabbit Hole, that "in the '70s they used to call these pills 'thigh openers.'" She turned him down, but did get drunk, and by the time they all went back to the mansion, she was told that it was time to go to Hefner's bedroom.
Tina Jordan, at the time his No. 1 girlfriend — a spot Madison herself would later occupy — brought her into the room, which was, she writes, "like an episode of Hoarders." With hardcore porn playing on two TV screens, Hefner masturbated as the women play-acted lesbian scenes. No one was into it. A girlfriend whose name Madison changed to Vicky in the book pushed her toward Hefner while urging him to "be with the new girl." Madison writes, "It was so brief that I can't even recall what it felt like beyond having a heavy body on top of mine.""
Sex was a twice a week ritual for him and the women he had around (a rotating cast of girlfriends) and it was all kind of ridiculous.
"They knew it was kind of a quote-unquote requirement for living there, and expected," Madison said. "And it had kind of a chore vibe, I felt. The girls would stand there and they'd kind of like put on a show to create a silhouette that something was going on. Hef couldn't hear very well out of one ear, and I could hear them all talking and making fun of what was going on and gossiping."
The clubs, the parties, even the sex was ritualized. It was like just another scheduled appointment.

He, at least with Holly, made his girlfriends feel bad about themselves so he could manipulate them and control them. He liked to be in control, maybe to kind of feel like he could prevent anyone else he was with from doing to him what Mildred did: betraying him.
He wanted them to believe that he was it for them, so they better act how he wants, dress how he wants, and do what he wants, or they'd be screwed. He treated Holly like she was stupid, wouldn't let her wear red lipstick and even told her that a short haircut she had once made her look cheap and old.

He liked to keep his women behind his mansion gates, so he could know where they were and what they were doing. Even if they did go out, they had a 9 o'clock curfew like 16 year olds. Holly worked at a Hooters, and she liked it. It wasn't the best thing in the world, but it kept her from being stuck inside all day and it gave her a social life and an income, and eventually Hugh forced her to quit that job.
She became trapped. She fell into a terrible depression and had, a few times, considered suicide as being the only way out.

In the public eye, he was this great, respectful guy (a legend) that women loved (and would have loved to be with) but behind closed doors he was bitter and insecure. He manipulated his girlfriends and made them feel insecure so he could have control over them. He liked to have drama around so that when the girls fought, he could feel like they were fighting over him. He liked to feel important.
He threw tantrums when things didn't go his way, or got all pissy when his girls didn't act how he wanted.

Eventually, Holly had enough and when Kendra and Bridgett left, and she was about to be alone with Hef, she decided maybe it was time for her to start moving on also.
"During the end, I definitely recognized that he was verbally abusive, and that was what made me snap," Madison said. "There were so many things in the relationship I wasn't fully comfortable with, but I was able to justify them in my mind because there were other advantages to being there. And when Bridget and Kendra were getting ready to leave, and it seemed like I was finally going to be the only one, he went off on me three times in one weekend — two of those anecdotes I detail in the book. I was like, holy crap, I just can't be here anymore if this dude's just going to be a jerk."
 When Holly did leave, he pretty much held a grudge against her for it and turned his back on her.
He was a popular guy and he had many friends and a great life, but again, he was an insecure person who had been hurt and he let that pain redefine relationships for him and he became a damaging individual towards the women of his life when the cameras were off and nobody was looking.
"Hef loves to surround himself with 'yes' people. And he does have a lot of friends that he's good to. There's such a culture up there of everybody always talking about him being the nicest guy. You know, that was the veneer and the personality that I fell for for so long. So you are kind of afraid to speak out in a way because you're made to feel like you're crazy." 
He was someone who had a great public reputation and friends who believed he wouldn't hurt a fly, but behind closed doors he would lash out and throw tantrums and stomp his feet and scream and yell and cry and put people down until his face was red and his fists were clenched, but because of that public reputation... who'd believe you if you were to come out about it?
Plain and simple: he was abusive. He was an asshole.
His relationships weren't healthy and I would actually be super interested to hear about his relationships from the perspective of other women he was with outside of Holly, but as far as Holly is concerned, I feel that her book is really telling and eye-opening, and though nobody but Holly can really know how much of that might be true (I, personally, believe it's all true, TBH), you can't just sit there and dismiss it like it's all fictional bullshit; that's what Hugh would have WANTED you to do. That's what any abusive individual would want you to do.

Hugh Hefner passed away, and though his career and life in Playboy might have been "a legend" that changed tons of lives, he as an individual might not really have been that great a guy.
I know, I know, respect for the dead and whatnot, but his death doesn't erase what he's done and who he was as a person, and respect is EARNED, not given, especially not just because someone died.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

School Dress Codes

I understand wanting your student body to dress appropriately for school. I feel that as far as most articles of clothing are concerned, it's pretty school appropriate. I mean, I don't usually see kids going to school in things like ass-less chaps or with their tits out; that would be inappropriate (and definitely distracting, but not sexually).

You know what I find inappropriate, though? The way schools handle dress codes. Too many girls have their education interrupted and delayed because of what they're wearing and how it might effect the boys educations. Are the boys the only ones that matter? Why is it that in a place of learning, a girl should put more focus on the clothes she wears than the lessons she is being taught, but boys can wear basically whatever they want and the focus on their lessons and work are given more significance?
More often than not, their outfit was distracting basically nobody UNTIL YOU SAID SOMETHING.
School starts and stops when the weather is hot outside. They wear shorts, tank tops, maybe even strapless shirts/dresses altogether, not to be a sex object or distraction, but to avoid having a heatstroke.
There's lots of schools that don't have air conditioning, or even a decent amount of fans, so these kids are in these grossly warm classrooms for what? 8 hours a day? They can't even wear something that would help them to stay the least bit cool?

Girls are not sexual objects. The mere sight of their arm or leg does not ruin a boys ability to focus in class and do his work properly. If it does, I think you should take the boy aside and teach him that he's being inappropriate by focusing on someone in a sexual manner instead of focusing on his work.
This shit even happens with little girls.

It's like when a woman breast feeds her child and some gross man comes up to her giving her shit for having the audacity to do so in public. She's literally FEEDING HER CHILDShe is using her breast for it's biological purpose. She is in no way, shape, or form being sexual towards you or anyone else. If you looked in her direction and saw a tit, that's your fucking problem. Nobody made you do that.
Women don't go outside with their babies and breast feed for attention. If a guy looks, that's on him. Nobody made him look. Just like nobody makes a male student look at a female student based on what she wears that day. Reprimand your male students for sexualizing another student as opposed to reprimanding your female students for being sexualized. Do not teach young girls that being sexualized in any way, shape, or form by someone is their fault just because of what they were wearing or doing.

I really think that schools should be using all the time they waste telling girls to cover up, to teach a proper sex education course, or maybe implement a better school dress code like this one: https://www.eths.k12.il.us/Page/1381

Related Posts:

Friday, August 11, 2017

When 'God's Followers' Harass, Does It Actually Change Anything? (My thoughts on abortion, adoption, and pregnancy)

**Note: I will be posting, at the bottom of this post, my responses to things Sandra and her friends have said in regards to this post that I would like to clarify or just plain respond to, as since we are not friends on Facebook, I cannot respond on her facebook posts.

--------------------------------------------------------------

God is a very controversial topic. Do you believe in God?
I think at most, he's interesting, but any problem I could and would have with him, I have to have to with his followers instead (because they are the ones who interpret the scriptures of the bible and give his will and words life).. Especially on the topic of abortion (Are you pro-life or pro-choice? I am pro-choice) Sure, most mean well and that's fantastic. If you are someone who wants to help people out and "save them" in the name of God or your beliefs, by all means, go out there and do so! However, there's a right way to do that (proper support/guidance), and there's a wrong way to do that.

Please report his post
Sandra Melissa Ramirez-Ullauri (and plenty of other individuals, I'm suredoes it the wrong way. My friend has become a target for a Christian woman who is an "Advocate for the Preborn", and Sandras entire facebook page is slathered in anti-abortion posts. She makes posts of and about women who have had abortions they don't regret, condemning them and insisting that her friends message them to condemn them for their actions as well.
What happens then is that angry anti-abortioners fill the persons inbox with hate and harassment.
They don't try to offer words of wisdom or guidance, or advice towards a better future. They judge and condemn. (After all, it's very easy to judge someone for their choices when you're not the one who has to make that decision, or be in that circumstance.)
I have to ask, what do you think this will even do? All you're doing is judging her and harassing her over something she can't even change. You're not helping anybody or making any difference, you're just shoving yourself into her very personal business.

My friend is young (there are plenty of people who become parents when they're teenagers, and if that worked for you, so be it. But it simply does not work for everyone). She was younger when she had her abortion, and she doesn't regret it because it is something she wasn't ready for and at this time in her life, it's something she wouldn't have been able to deal with properly.
A pregnancy and baby, plain and simple, was not a viable life choice for her. I, personally, would rather she be in a position where she not only wants the child but is actually prepared and ready (physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially) for one.
I absolutely need someone to explain to me why this unborn embryo/blastocyst/zygote/fetus's entire being is more important than the individual who's womb it resides inside. Why is the person who is pregnant not as important as the 'child' she is pregnant with? Why are her health and her rights invisible now that she is pregnant? Why does pregnancy erase her?

I mean, pregnancy is a big deal, not to mention one of the greatest health risks that a person can take, I'd say it makes her being matter way more..

What happens during pregnancy: Stomach
capacity shrinks, lung capacity shrinks,
Organs get smushed and sometimes they
can be permanently displaced.  Sometimes,
hernias will appear or worsen. Sometimes,
the pelvic floor permanently drops.
Sometimes, internal damage occurs that
you don't find out about until later. 
Normal, frequent or expectable temporary side effects of pregnancy:
  • exhaustion (weariness common from first weeks)
  • altered appetite and senses of taste and smell
  • nausea and vomiting (50% of women, first trimester)
  • heartburn and indigestion
  • constipation
  • weight gain
  • dizziness and light-headedness
  • bloating, swelling, fluid retention
  • hemmorhoids
  • abdominal cramps
  • yeast infections
  • congested, bloody nose
  • acne and mild skin disorders
  • skin discoloration (chloasma, face and abdomen)
  • mild to severe backache and strain
  • increased headaches
  • difficulty sleeping, and discomfort while sleeping
  • increased urination and incontinence
  • bleeding gums
  • pica
  • breast pain and discharge
  • swelling of joints, leg cramps, joint pain
  • difficulty sitting, standing in later pregnancy
  • inability to take regular medications
  • shortness of breath
  • higher blood pressure
  • hair loss
  • tendency to anemia
  • curtailment of ability to participate in some sports and activities
  • infection including from serious and potentially fatal disease (pregnant women are immune suppressed compared with non-pregnant women, and are more susceptible to fungal and certain other diseases)
  • extreme pain on delivery
  • hormonal mood changes, including normal post-partum depression
  • continued post-partum exhaustion and recovery period (exacerbated if a c-section — major surgery — is required, sometimes taking up to a full year to fully recover)
Normal, expectable, or frequent PERMANENT side effects of pregnancy:
  • stretch marks (worse in younger women)
  • loose skin
  • permanent weight gain or redistribution
  • abdominal and vaginal muscle weakness
  • pelvic floor disorder (occurring in as many as 35% of middle-aged former child-bearers and 50% of elderly former child-bearers, associated with urinary and rectal incontinence, discomfort and reduced quality of life)
  • changes to breasts
  • vericose veins
  • scarring from episiotomy or c-section
  • other permanent aesthetic changes to the body (all of these are downplayed by women, because the culture values youth and beauty)
  • increased proclivity for hemmorhoids
  • loss of dental and bone calcium (cavities and osteoporosis)
Occasional complications and side effects:
  • spousal/partner abuse
  • hyperemesis gravidarum
  • temporary and permanent injury to back
  • severe scarring requiring later surgery (especially after additional pregnancies)
  • dropped (prolapsed) uterus (especially after additional pregnancies, and other pelvic floor weaknesses — 11% of women, including cystocele, rectocele, and enterocele)
  • pre-eclampsia (edema and hypertension, the most common complication of pregnancy, associated with eclampsia, and affecting 7 - 10% of pregnancies)
  • eclampsia (convulsions, coma during pregnancy or labor, high risk of death)
  • gestational diabetes
  • placenta previa
  • anemia (which can be life-threatening)
  • thrombocytopenic purpura
  • severe cramping
  • embolism (blood clots)
  • medical disability requiring full bed rest (frequently ordered during part of many pregnancies varying from days to months for health of either mother or baby)
  • diastasis recti, also torn abdominal muscles
  • mitral valve stenosis (most common cardiac complication)
  • serious infection and disease (e.g. increased risk of tuberculosis)
  • hormonal imbalance
  • ectopic pregnancy (risk of death)
  • broken bones (ribcage, “tail bone”)
  • hemorrhage and
  • numerous other complications of delivery
  • refractory gastroesophageal reflux disease
  • aggravation of pre-pregnancy diseases and conditions (e.g. epilepsy is present in .5% of pregnant women, and the pregnancy alters drug metabolism and treatment prospects all the while it increases the number and frequency of seizures)
  • severe post-partum depression and psychosis
  • research now indicates a possible link between ovarian cancer and female fertility treatments, including “egg harvesting” from infertile women and donors
  • research also now indicates correlations between lower breast cancer survival rates and proximity in time to onset of cancer of last pregnancy
  • research also indicates a correlation between having six or more pregnancies and a risk of coronary and cardiovascular disease
Less common (but serious) complications:
  • peripartum cardiomyopathy
  • cardiopulmonary arrest
  • magnesium toxicity
  • severe hypoxemia/acidosis
  • massive embolism
  • increased intracranial pressure, brainstem infarction
  • molar pregnancy, gestational trophoblastic disease (like a pregnancy-induced cancer)
  • malignant arrhythmia
  • circulatory collapse
  • placental abruption
  • obstetric fistula
More permanent side effects:
  • future infertility
  • permanent disability
  • death.

 


Image result for blastocyst abortion
a blastocyst 
Abortion, plain and simple, is not murder. It's like saying that menstruating is murder because it's your body expelling a perfectly good egg that could have become a human being.  It's like saying that a man masturbating into his sock is murder because those were perfectly good sperm cells that could have become a human being. Would you peg a woman on her period, or a horny 14 year old boy as a murderer?

Abortion is a medical procedure designed to remove the "baby" (usually just a clump of cells at the time a typical abortion would take place, called a blastocyst).


There are different types of abortion for the different stages of pregnancy: (I will list a few here but for the full list you can check out https://adviceandaid.com/abortion/types-of-abortions/)

Early Non-Surgical (Medical) Abortion:
(Performed in weeks 2 to 10 of pregnancy)
  • A drug is given to stop the development of the pregnancy.
  • The use of this drug may cause cramping, pelvic pain or bleeding. Often women will pass clots, tissue, and then the unborn child within hours or days.
  • For a full list of possible side effects and risks, see the Abortion Risks page.
Vacuum Aspiration:
(Performed in weeks 2 to 12 of pregnancy)
  • Requires a local anesthetic injected into or near the cervix.
  • The cervix is then stretched open, allowing a tube to be inserted. The unborn child and placenta are then suctioned out.
  • Occasionally, this is followed by a procedure to scrape the walls of the uterus, making sure it has been completely emptied of the unborn child and placenta.
Dilation and Evacuation (D&E):
(Performed in weeks 13 to 21/22 of pregnancy)
  • Sponge-like pieces of material are placed into the cervix, slowly opening the cervix over a period of several hours or overnight.
  • The mother may be given intravenous medications to help with pain and prevent infection.
  • A general anesthesia is then given to the mother, and the unborn child and placenta are removed with forceps and suction curettage. Occasionally, it is necessary to dismember the unborn child.
Labor Induction:
(Performed in weeks 22 to 38 of pregnancy)
  • This type of abortion is never performed in a clinic setting, as it may require a hospital stay.
  • Drugs are given to the mother to terminate the pregnancy and to begin labor (usually starts in 2-4 hours).
  • In the event that the placenta is not completely removed during labor, the cervix must be opened and a doctor will perform suction curettage.
  • Labor and delivery are very similar to childbirth, with the duration depending upon the size of the unborn child (along with the condition of the uterus).
  • It may be necessary for instruments to be used to scrape the placenta to remove all traces of the unborn child and placenta.
  • The further along in the pregnancy, the greater the chances of the delivered child living. If the baby is removed alive, the doctor is required by law to provide care and treatment to it as they would any other baby born under similar circumstances.
Hysterotomy (similar to a C-Section):
(Performed in weeks 22 to 38 of pregnancy)
  • This type of abortion is never performed in a clinic setting, as it requires a hospital stay. A hysterotomy is performed when a labor induction fails or is not possible.
  • This is the removal of an unborn child by cutting open the abdomen and uterus, and killing the unborn child prior to removal.
  • Anesthetic is given to the woman to remove the pain of surgery.
The hysterotomy, (probably an emergency procedure much the way a c-section in child birth tends to be, unless it's planned) as well as a couple of the other procedures, is as close to "murder" as abortion gets and the way it's performed is because it's a late-term abortion, which is something that usually happens if there's an emergency or something wrong with the baby or mother and the pregnancy cannot continue (If the woman wanted the baby, which, if she didn't, it would probably have been aborted earlier (unless she found out she was pregnant late in the pregnancy, which can happen), and she was along  enough in the pregnancy for her save the baby, I'm sure she would choose an alternative to ensure her baby be saved and survive.) and a simple medical procedure like the ones for first term abortions would not suffice.
As with any medical procedure or even with any birth or pregnancy (see the list at the top of the post), there is definitely a risk for complications, minor and major (though the list is vastly shorter than the list of possible complications and risk for pregnancies), especially if it's a late term abortion (which is probably why late term abortions are typically done in hospitals rather than clinics), but it's like taking aspirin. It could have side effects and maybe even make you sick, but you'd still take it if you felt it's the best thing for you or your health, and if you're someone that doesn't believe in taking aspirin, you don't have to. That's fine too.

If someone like Sandra, or even Sandra herself, really wants to "help" another person who might want an abortion or is going to get one, think before you act. It's not for you to decide or criticize, especially if it's someone you do not even know. If it's someone you do know and you're actually concerned for HER (not the blastocyst) then sit down and express your concerns, offer her some legitimate help and support and guide her towards making the best decision for her (not your religion/beliefs).
Everyone's situation is different and it's not your place to judge or condemn. 

Don't go running out to tell people "Wait, you can just put the kid up for adoption!!!" either, because not only would the woman STILL have to go through a potentially very risky and complicated pregnancy/birth, but her child could wind up in the  foster system for years.. There are already so many kids who need homes and love and families who are trapped in abusive foster homes and are ignored for babies who are considered perfect and without defects. You could talk to potential adopters about adopting one of those babies/kids. 

Here's a Tumblr user's, who was given up for adoption, view/opinion on abortion
blackestofmoons:

bronzebasilisk:

ryunwoofie:

sonneillonv:

autumn-and-eve:

erinsmomma:

How can someone stand behind abortion, when you have a life inside of you that God created for you? How can you say that this life isn’t worth it? If you can’t take care of the baby for whatever circumstances than there is always adoption available to couples who can’t conceive, but still want the joy of being parents. OPEN YOUR EYES! God has bigger plans for us all that we don’t even realize the picture.

Excuse me but it appears your baby is actually upside downDid you take Sex Ed freshman year because babies come out headfirst

Hi, OP!  As someone who was given up for adoption, allow me to call bullshit on your little post there!  You see, when I was adopted, I was a white-skinned, healthy, neurotypical infant, which basically put me at the top of the list, right underneath white-skinned, healthy, neurotypical MALE infants!  There’s only one kind of infant people wanted to adopt more than me!  I was SOOO lucky!  But if you actually bothered to look at the information readily available on the interwebs, you would be aware that the majority of people who are forced to rely on abortion for family planning are poor people and people of color.  Of course, those two demographics intersect, thanks to the institutionalized racism of our society!  Neat huh?!
Of course, even babies of color are not in high demand with couples looking to adopt.  Many who do want to adopt outside their race choose to go outside the country, where laws are less strict and the process is often less expensive.  Of course, most of the infants adopted this way are obtained in unscrupulous fashion, but who cares about that when you’re saving a little Korean or African baby from the horrible fate of growing up in Korea or Africa???  And all those children who have birth defects, are born with diseases or disabilities, or have other issues… WELL.  Who wants to invest that kind of expense and time?  Why would you adopt someone broken, LOLOL?!
Granted, there are some wonderful people who understand the system a little better, and make it a point to try and give POC and disabled children a good home.  But they make up a very small fraction of potential adopters!  This difference in supply and demand leaves a lot of children stuck in the foster system, where their chances of being adopted diminish with every passing year, and their chances of being physically or sexually abused INCREASE!  Isn’t that wonderful?
And of course, we haven’t even talked about the person who is giving birth to the baby!  I know you probably think pregnancy is a wonderful, happy time, and for some people it is, but it is also one of the greatest health risks a person can take. I love my son very much, and from the day I found out I was pregnant with him, I wanted him!  But I also nearly died giving birth to him.  You see, I had pre-eclampsia, the most commonly fatal birth complication in the world.  My blood pressure was 180 over 130!  At twenty-two years old, I was actually headed for a stroke, hah hah!  How funny is that?  And all it took was missing a single pre-natal appointment during which my blood pressure rose to dangerous levels and my body tried to kill both me and my son.  Those seizures sure were fun, as was the emergency c-section performed without anesthetic!  And being chained down while the operation was performed, because I was delirious and wouldn’t stop trying to fight off the doctors, that was a BLAST!  It was great for my husband too, since he almost lost his wife and child in just forty-five minutes.  You can imagine how thrilled he is at the prospect of me ever getting pregnant again.  Babies are certainly cute, but pregnancy can have massive health complications, and I know it’s such a bummer, but they are PERMANENT.  :(  My abdominal muscles never recovered from being hacked through with a scalpel, and the flood of hormones caused by late pregnancy have changed things from heartburn (never used to have it, now, all the time!) to my emotional reactions (I cry when I see pictures of kittens now.  I used to be tough).  These are changes I did not ask for, cannot control, and cannot fix!  And many people go through worse!  I know, right?  Unbelievable, but go look up the word ‘episiotomy’ and then look up ‘birth rape’ and I’m afraid you’ll find some stuff that just isn’t very shiny.  Plus, the studies actually show that people who carry a baby to term, give birth, then give it up for adoption suffer HIGHER rates of post-pregnancy complications like post-partum depression and post-partum psychosis, general depression, and other mental health issues.  Adoption actually isn’t good for the person giving birth at all!
I’m afraid the picture you chose to use there is also pretty disingenuous.  I know, I know, it seems like nitpicking.  I’m not trying to be mean!  :(  But that picture shows a fully developed, viable infant, and most abortions are performed when the fetus isn’t even a fetus - it’s a blastocyst.  That’s just a clump of cells.  Seriously! You can totally find pictures on the interwebs and they’re not even gross, LOLOL!  Later-term abortions are usually performed because of health complications, though some of our intrepid state legislators are trying to change all that!  They care so much about people who are pregnant, you see, that they want to force them to carry dead or dying fetuses inside them until their body either becomes infected while it rots in their tummies (this is called sepsis, and it makes people very sick, and can even kill them!), or forces it out naturally in a gush of blood and fluids!  Isn’t that so caring of them?  I’m so glad they’re around to make those decisions for me!  And if a pregnant person is not allowed to terminate an unviable fetus, in some states, they have to carry the child to term, give birth to it, and then watch it die in their arms because its lungs weren’t developed, or its brain formed outside its skull, or any of a million possible birth defects that will kill you just as quick as lickity-split!  Isn’t that wild?!  Of course, these people go through terrible grief, and as I mentioned, some of them may get sick and die from not being able to abort dead or dying fetuses.  But I guess that’s just A-okay with you, huh?
Basically, I think before you suggest adoption as a universal alternative, you should actually go do some research on adoption.  And before you condemn abortion, you should do some research on abortions - not the stuff your church is giving you, the stuff the real doctors are saying.  Go to Planned Parenthood (if they haven’t all been closed down, ROFLMAO!) and request whatever information they have on the process, the statistics of who has abortions and why… and actually, all of that is on the interwebs!  Isn’t technology AMAZING?
And in closing, since I’ve been asked this question many times and I know it’s coming?  Yes, I realize I am here talking to you because I was not aborted.  But the thing is, if my mother had chosen abortion, I wouldn’t know the difference, so it wouldn’t matter to me.  And if she decided that choice was best for her, then that choice would have been best for her, and I would never want to take that choice away from her.  As it is, since I was given up for adoption, and since I have seen the statistics on how badly people who give their children up for adoption suffer, I have spent much of my adult life worrying about her, whether she’s healthy, whether she’s okay, and feeling that if she did suffer from any of the common post-birth symptoms, it is at least partially my fault, even though she made that decision on her own.  Which is silly, I know, but at some point, all children have to stare down the consequences of their parents’ having them.  For some, that’s poverty.  For others, a life-time of their parents struggling to treat and care for a severe illness or disability.  For others, it’s wondering if their mother ever got over giving them away, and wishing you could reach out and assure her that it’s okay, she doesn’t have to be haunted.
May your birth control never fail!



"Hi, OP!  As someone who was given up for adoption, allow me to call bullshit on your little post there!  You see, when I was adopted, I was a white-skinned, healthy, neurotypical infant, which basically put me at the top of the list, right underneath white-skinned, healthy, neurotypical MALE infants!  There’s only one kind of infant people wanted to adopt more than me!  I was SOOO lucky!  But if you actually bothered to look at the information readily available on the interwebs, you would be aware that the majority of people who are forced to rely on abortion for family planning are poor people and people of color.  Of course, those two demographics intersect, thanks to the institutionalized racism of our society!  Neat huh?! Of course, even babies of color are not in high demand with couples looking to adopt.   
Many who do want to adopt outside their race choose to go outside the country, where laws are less strict and the process is often less expensive.  Of course, most of the infants adopted this way are obtained in unscrupulous fashion, but who cares about that when you’re saving a little Korean or African baby from the horrible fate of growing up in Korea or Africa???  And all those children who have birth defects, are born with diseases or disabilities, or have other issues… WELL.  Who wants to invest that kind of expense and time?  Why would you adopt someone broken, LOLOL?! 
Granted, there are some wonderful people who understand the system a little better, and make it a point to try and give POC and disabled children a good home.  But they make up a very small fraction of potential adopters!  This difference in supply and demand leaves a lot of children stuck in the foster system, where their chances of being adopted diminish with every passing year, and their chances of being physically or sexually abused INCREASE!  Isn’t that wonderful? 
And of course, we haven’t even talked about the person who is giving birth to the baby!  I know you probably think pregnancy is a wonderful, happy time, and for some people it is, but it is also one of the greatest health risks a person can take. I love my son very much, and from the day I found out I was pregnant with him, I wanted him!  But I also nearly died giving birth to him.  You see, I had pre-eclampsia, the most commonly fatal birth complication in the world.  My blood pressure was 180 over 130!  At twenty-two years old, I was actually headed for a stroke, hah hah!  How funny is that?  And all it took was missing a single pre-natal appointment during which my blood pressure rose to dangerous levels and my body tried to kill both me and my son.  Those seizures sure were fun, as was the emergency c-section performed without anesthetic!  And being chained down while the operation was performed, because I was delirious and wouldn’t stop trying to fight off the doctors, that was a BLAST!  It was great for my husband too, since he almost lost his wife and child in just forty-five minutes.  You can imagine how thrilled he is at the prospect of me ever getting pregnant again. 
Babies are certainly cute, but pregnancy can have massive health complications, and I know it’s such a bummer, but they are PERMANENT.  :(  My abdominal muscles never recovered from being hacked through with a scalpel, and the flood of hormones caused by late pregnancy have changed things from heartburn (never used to have it, now, all the time!) to my emotional reactions (I cry when I see pictures of kittens now.  I used to be tough).  These are changes I did not ask for, cannot control, and cannot fix!  And many people go through worse!  I know, right?  Unbelievable, but go look up the word ‘episiotomy’* and then look up ‘birth rape’** and I’m afraid you’ll find some stuff that just isn’t very shiny.  Plus, the studies actually show that people who carry a baby to term, give birth, then give it up for adoption suffer HIGHER rates of post-pregnancy complications like post-partum depression and post-partum psychosis, general depression, and other mental health issues.  Adoption actually isn’t good for the person giving birth at all! 
I’m afraid the picture you chose to use there is also pretty disingenuous. (pictured above)  I know, I know, it seems like nitpicking.  I’m not trying to be mean!  :(  But that picture shows a fully developed, viable infant, and most abortions are performed when the fetus isn’t even a fetus - it’s a blastocyst.  That’s just a clump of cells.  Seriously! You can totally find pictures on the interwebs and they’re not even gross, LOLOL!  Later-term abortions are usually performed because of health complications, though some of our intrepid state legislators are trying to change all that!  They care so much about people who are pregnant, you see, that they want to force them to carry dead or dying fetuses inside them until their body either becomes infected while it rots in their tummies (this is called sepsis, and it makes people very sick, and can even kill them!), or forces it out naturally in a gush of blood and fluids!  Isn’t that so caring of them?  I’m so glad they’re around to make those decisions for me!  And if a pregnant person is not allowed to terminate an unviable fetus, in some states, they have to carry the child to term, give birth to it, and then watch it die in their arms because its lungs weren’t developed, or its brain formed outside its skull, or any of a million possible birth defects that will kill you just as quick as lickity-split!  Isn’t that wild?!  Of course, these people go through terrible grief, and as I mentioned, some of them may get sick and die from not being able to abort dead or dying fetuses.  But I guess that’s just A-okay with you, huh? 
Basically, I think before you suggest adoption as a universal alternative, you should actually go do some research on adoption.  And before you condemn abortion, you should do some research on abortions - not the stuff your church is giving you, the stuff the real doctors are saying.  Go to Planned Parenthood (if they haven’t all been closed down, ROFLMAO!) and request whatever information they have on the process, the statistics of who has abortions and why… and actually, all of that is on the interwebs!  Isn’t technology AMAZING? 
And in closing, since I’ve been asked this question many times and I know it’s coming?  Yes, I realize I am here talking to you because I was not aborted.  But the thing is, if my mother had chosen abortion, I wouldn’t know the difference, so it wouldn’t matter to me.  And if she decided that choice was best for her, then that choice would have been best for her, and I would never want to take that choice away from her.  As it is, since I was given up for adoption, and since I have seen the statistics on how badly people who give their children up for adoption suffer, I have spent much of my adult life worrying about her, whether she’s healthy, whether she’s okay, and feeling that if she did suffer from any of the common post-birth symptoms, it is at least partially my fault, even though she made that decision on her own.  Which is silly, I know, but at some point, all children have to stare down the consequences of their parents’ having them.  For some, that’s poverty.  For others, a life-time of their parents struggling to treat and care for a severe illness or disability.  For others, it’s wondering if their mother ever got over giving them away, and wishing you could reach out and assure her that it’s okay, she doesn’t have to be haunted. 
May your birth control never fail!"
*Episiotomy - An episiotomy is a surgical cut in the muscular area between the vagina and the anus (the area called the perineum) made just before delivery to enlarge your vaginal opening. (For more info: http://www.babycenter.com/0_all-about-episiotomy_165.bc)

**Birth Trauma (A.K.A Birth RapeA term some people would use to describe a traumatic birth experience where a woman or women have felt dis-empowered, bullied and/or abused by their healthcare providers/doctors. It's a situation where they have felt they had no other options but to submit to medical procedures done entirely against their will. They experienced giving birth as violence perpetrated on their bodies by people they thought they could trust. They might feel violated, betrayed, shamed and/or terrified (What a woman might feel in this situation probably varies from woman to woman as I'm sure not every woman experiences/feels exactly the same thing).
The term "Birth Rape" is deemed controversial due to the fact that while the rage, despair and feelings of violation some women might experience after a traumatic, out-of-control birth are valid and powerful, they aren’t considered the same as the feelings women might experience after actual rape. (I hope this explanation isn't offensive. I didn't intend for it to come off as such.)

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I whole-heartedly feel that abortions should be an option for women. How many anti-abortion protesters and advocates have stopped to think about why a woman would go into a clinic to get an abortion?
No woman goes into a abortion clinic like she's going in to have the time of her life. (Many women who have an abortion feel sad, but, please do NOT mistake sadness for regret. Yes, there are a few women who have had abortions and later regretted it, but the majority that have abortions do not, because in the end, it was what was right for them, their circumstance, and their health..) They're going in for a medical procedure. Be it that they're sick and won't be able to carry a healthy pregnancy, or that something is wrong with the baby and they wouldn't be able to carry it to term or don't want to because it wouldn't survive that long outside of the womb anyway, or be it that the pregnancy was an accident and they're accepting responsibility by getting an abortion in a situation where they know that they are not ready in any capacity (physically, mentally, financially) to carry a child, let alone actually raise it once it's born. Some people get an abortion because they already have kids that they're already having a hard time affording care for, and a new mouth to feed would add more stress, pressure, and debt to the pile; they love their kids but another one would just be too much. Sometimes, they're a traumatized rape victim who didn't want the resulting pregnancy, much less the rape that resulted in it. There's so many different situations that could be a cause/reason for someone getting an abortion.
Hell, there are women who get an abortion because they were forced into a pregnancy by their abusive/controlling husbands in order for said husbands to control them from the inside out.
Here's a few stories I found on Tumblr about this:
"A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well. 
The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one. 
Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. 
Reproductive coercion comes in three different types:
1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse.
2. Sabotaging birth control
3. Marital rape 
Over 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body. 
The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating, her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her Fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon, he persisted in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter. 
The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her.  She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere because he would go through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling. 
One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.”  Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him. 
WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD? Many voters never consider how defunding these clinics could hurt victims of domestic violence who turn to them for counseling as well as pregnancy prevention. Abused women will turn to health care providers long before they will turn to domestic abuse hotlines and organizations. Many women in abusive relationships rely on life saving, affordable care programs such as Title X. It is critical that such places are open and operation when women and children need them so desperately.
"I know I’ve told this story before, but my abusive ex refused to let me take birth control.  I was on the pill until he found them in my purse.
I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.
Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo.
When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.
And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.
I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy.
I cannot thank Planned Parenthood enough for the work they do."
(The same can be done by women. There have been cases where women get pregnant, or try to get pregnant by poking holes into condoms or messing with other forms of contraception, or other means in an attempt to trap a man into staying with her or paying her child support checks. If they can't get pregnant, or haven't yet gotten pregnant, they may even lie and say they're pregnant anyway. But that's a different case/story)

Sometimes they're a child or teenager who has been raped or sexually abused, like Lina Medina, the worlds youngest mother at 5 years old. She had precocious puberty and was sexually mature by five years old. (In Lina's case, there's no substantial evidence to prove or back up that she was sexually abused in any way, but let's be real, how else would a 5 year old have wound up pregnant? She wasn't sleeping around, that's for sure.) Or more recently, a 10 year old in India who was raped which resulted in her getting pregnant. When her family found out it was a pregnancy, she was already 20 weeks along, so they tried to fight India's abortion laws to have it aborted. Ultimately, they lost and the baby was born via c-section and sent away without anyone even so much as sparing a passing glance in its direction. They never told the 10 year old that it was a baby, she instead thought it was a kidney stone that was being removed.
If a child had an abortion, would you shame them? Would you condemn them? Even if it was a fetus conceived through rape?

These varying women go to these clinics and they are harassed and shamed for this very personal decision that they probably spent a lot of time thinking about and stressing over by people who not only do not know them, but don't know their situations or how hard it already is for them. There are protesters who will crowd around a car like a locust plague before a woman has even had a chance to open the door just to jump at the chance to shame her and look down on her for her decision.
Your beliefs matter and it's fine if you have a set of beliefs that includes believing a embryo/blastocyst/fetus is a child comparable to a child outside of a womans womb, but when that belief infringes upon another womans health and safety in regards to medical procedures they may or may not be having, that's not okay and quite frankly, God wouldn't think so either. (Besides, I believe that religion should 100% not have any place in health care of any kind.)

I really feel like there is so much more a person could do with their time than to waste it fighting people on a personal decision they're making in regards to their own health and circumstances. Fight for what you believe in, sure, but choose your battles. Health care is important. Abortion is health care. Like the picture states, sometimes, having an abortion is making your health a priority. It's taking action, even if it's scary.
It's standing up to the people who oppose your actions and rights to health care and planned parenthood and asking a powerful and inspiring "why? why does my life come second to what's growing inside of me? why doesn't my health matter?"
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Picture provided by Sandra
If you care so much about babies, focus on the babies who are abandoned everyday by the women who didn't want them and threw them in the garbage or abandoned them somewhere. Care about the kids lost to the foster system in horrendous cycles of abuse and neglect. Focus on the kids who are already born and need your help. Give them a voice.
It's truly a shame that there are so many people who are "pro-life" who choose to fight against abortion instead of caring more about the babies who are already born. Often-times, pro-lifers care about the fetuses only until they aren't fetuses anymore and then who cares what happens to them, right? As long as they were born, that's all that matters. I mean, for people who care about the lives of babies (unborn or born), you sure are frivolous with them and their care and the circumstances they will or will not be born into. Unless they're your kid, that is.
Let's be real, even if abortion protesters won and got abortion to become illegal, that wouldn't stop it, that would just mean that back-alley abortions and panicked women who are using coat hangers to abort the babies themselves would start surfacing again. Modern abortions are safer and more ethical and taking that away from women just means they have to resort to way more dangerous tactics.

It's like having a pet (I'm not saying that children are animals, but it's a similar situation and there are tons of people who look at their pets as being their child or 'fur-baby'). Would you force someone to keep a pet they did not want or could not keep or afford even if it meant they would wind up dumping that animal on the side of the road somewhere, or abusing or neglecting the animal, or dumping it into a kill shelter where it could spend the rest of its life instead of the animal being with a family that can afford it, give it proper care, and that wants it?
If someone is not prepared for a pet, or they cannot afford to just suddenly take one on in a surprise situation, they should not be made to keep the animal. It's unfair to both parties.

Other things people could do to prevent pregnancies that could result in abortions is provide younger individuals with proper sex-education as opposed to abstinence only sex-education. Provide information on contraceptives or IUDs (intrauterine devices) that can not only make the sex safer, but prevent pregnancy (please, remain aware that there are instances where a couple uses contraceptives but wound up pregnant anyway. It's pretty uncommon but has happened.) and keep Planned Parenthood around.
Planned Parenthood is an organization that provides reproductive health-care as well as standard health-care. Yes, they can provide abortions, however, that is not all they do:

  • Abortion Services
  • Abortion Referral (If your local Planned Parenthood doesn’t provide abortions (because surprise, they don't all do that), they can talk with you about your options and connect you with other providers in your area.)
  • Birth Control
  • Emergency Contraception (The Morning-After pill)
  • General Health-Care
  • HIV Services
  • LGBT Services (Planned Parenthood provides appropriate, high-quality health care for LGBT patients, including hormone therapy for transgender patients.)
  • Men's Health Services (Men can come to Planned Parenthood for health services addressing cancer, STDs, fertility, sexual dysfunction, birth control, and routine checkups.)
  • Patient Education (Planned Parenthood provides clear, accurate, up-to-date information to help you understand and care for your sexual and reproductive health.)
  • Pregnancy Testing & Services 
  • STD Testing, Treatment & Vaccines
  • Women's Services (Women can count on Planned Parenthood for essential health care like birth control, STD tests, pelvic exams, cancer screenings, and pregnancy-related services.)
Shutting down Planned Parenthood in its entirety will not only NOT stop abortion, but it will leave some people completely out on the street as far as their health-care is concerned. 
I mean, c'mon, would you want to shut down all hospitals just because there are some who perform abortions?
#IStandWithPlannedParenthood

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Drama:
Sandra has seen this, and she is choosing to read it with a victim complex, rather than an open mind, but to clarify, it's not about her or to attack her. Yes, I did call her out (not attack her character) because she's a specific person who I know is doing this stuff, but her mention makes up very little of the post in it's entirety. This post is about how she and people like her take action that does way more damage than good. She also wants (but isn't sure if she wants to give "this wicked woman's" post the webtraffic) to explain the difference between pro-lifers and abolitionists, so I'll do it for her: 
"Pro-life is the expression of a moral opinion. Abolition is the expression of a moral action. When you call yourself “pro-life” you are letting people know what you think about abortion. When you call yourself an abolitionist, you are telling them what you aim to do about it." 
and I get that. Pro-life and Abolitionists are not synonyms, but they do walk hand in hand.
I am still hoping that Sandra and people like her will keep an open mind and actually read what I have written. Otherwise, you do not have any room to judge it. You cannot judge something properly, if you do not know what it is.

Also, to Marylou, yes I do have a conviction. My conviction is that I believe women should have the right to have an abortion and health care and planned parenthood and I will stand by that.


First, as I have already stated, I did not attack her character. 
To attack her character is to state false things in order to mar her reputation or who she is as a person. Did I state any false information? If so, I would absolutely correct it, just tell me what it is.  This post is not meant to attack anyone, so I apologize if that's how someone chooses to view it.

Now, to be honest, Sandra didn't make a compelling argument (or any argument) against Cheyenne's actions either. She shames her and she had her friends harass Cheyenne, and pegged her as being someone who "traded in" a life she was not ready to bring into this world for a 3 bedroom house so that she, her mother, and her grandmother (that she is working her ass off to take care of in her old age and current health problems) can live comfortably. They, quite frankly, made it sound as though she had the abortion and then used said abortion to buy the house. (No, they worked hard and bought a house with money they would not have had if they had a child to take care of. Pregnancy (especially a complicated one) and having the baby and also raising it takes a lot financially. They would not have been able to afford a better living space that can better accommodate their needs if she had the child.)

If anything, Sandra  and her friends went after Cheyenne's character. They harassed her and when she asked them to stop, they refused, and when Cheyenne finally reported it enough for it to be taken down, she still posted things about it.


Disregarding her rights to privacy, but also her mental health, acting as though it's nothing serious, and even talking with a friend about him re-posting the pictures (which he did) she had taken down just so Sandra can avoid more trouble.
Also, killing a two year old child is murder, straight up. If she killed a toddler for any reason, obviously I wouldn't stand for that. I wouldn't stand for that from anyone. (However, if my friend were a parent in those circumstances, I would definitely recommend that she have a relative take care of the child for at least a little while, while she sorted her life out, because that situation is neither good for the child nor the parent
Having an abortion is a medical procedure

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Fun fact!: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when the embryo is developing in the womb, the first opening to form is the anus. Everyone, at one point, was nothing but an asshole, and unfortunately sometimes some people don't develop past that stage. :(
(this was meant as a joke)

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