Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Breasts Are Not Sexual / Breast Feeding In Public

I just don't understand why breast feeding in public is such a big deal or why breasts are viewed as such a sexual thing in the first place. What another person is doing with their child is nobody's business and should not be unless they are hurting their child. A woman breast feeding in public is literally a woman just feeding her kid while she is out and about.

Like, say you're in a restaurant and a woman is breastfeeding her baby at HER table, where she's sitting. You don't have to look at her table. Literally nobody is prying your eyes open and forcing you to stare in that direction. It's fucking appalling that someone would say something like:
"No. I’m eating. I don’t wanna see you hang out your goddamn tits while I have food. My kids don’t wanna see it. It’s not some misogynistic ideal, it’s fucking public indecency. Can I take my cock out under the table and feed my wife/girlfriend?"
And then think that's a valid argument. This is probably the most common argument used by most men who are against public breast feeding.
First of all, who cares about what you want to see while you're eating? You should be focusing on yourself and your family, not the families and tables around you. What someone else is doing is not your business unless they are harassing you or your friends/family.
Second of all, those things are just not comparable. Receiving a blowjob in public is public indecency, whereas a woman breastfeeding her child while minding her own business out in public is literally a woman using her breast for it's biological purpose. It's not sexual, and if you happen to look in her direction and see a tit, that's just not her problem. She didn't make you look at her, and she certainly isn't breastfeeding to get the attention of strangers.
A blowjob feeds nobody and is something used entirely for pleasure. Breast feeding is the act a mother feeding her infant child, so they get the proper nutrients, proteins, and vitamins for good development.
And don't say "use a pump and some bottles", why should a woman have to go out of her way to spend money just so you can be comfortable (Afterall, the world doesn't revolve around you and what makes you comfortable.) when she can feed her kid for free? If a woman wants to use a pump and a bottle, that's her prerogative, but it's not an obligation.
Also, a woman should not be made to go feed her infant child in the unsanitary confines of a public restroom, either. If you have such an issue with her minding her own business, at her own table, with her own kids, you can go eat in the bathroom.

------------------------------------------------
Now, a lesson (information below provided by http://babiesandbones.tumblr.com/):
"1.) Breasts as sexual fetishes is a (largely Western) cultural construction. Yes, it’s a fetish – anything you are sexually attracted to that is not the genitals of an adult is a fetish, or paraphilia. My professors have met non-Westerners who think our men are “like babies” because they are attracted to breasts.
Breasts ≠ genitals. Scientifically, they are considered secondary sexual characteristics – same category as facial hair. They can be sexual in a sexual context, just as necks and feet can be. But their primary purpose is reproductive.
2.) Breastmilk is not a “bodily fluid.” It is FOOD.
It is not categorized by the CDC as a biohazard, and so no you don’t need to freak out if your coworker wants to store her milk right next to your Lunchables.
MOREOVER,
Breastmilk is not just protein and vitamins. It is a living, dynamic substance that BUILDS HUMANS.
It has hundreds of ingredients (<— actually that list needs to be updated because they’ve discovered more already).

There is a lab at the University of Washington St. Louis, where they have written all of the ingredients of human milk on the wall – They have run out of room on that wall. Among those ingredients:
  • The exact ratio of protein-sugars-fats that human infants need (cow’s milk doesn’t even come close)
  • Antibodies to pathogens in the baby’s environment (synthesized by the mother within hours of coming into contact with a given pathogen) and other immune factors
  • Stem cells. FUCKING STEM CELLS. (They used glow-in-the-dark mice to find out what they do!)
  • Hormones (support growth and regulate behavior)
  • peptides
  • Self-digesting fats (what the whaaat)
  • Growth factors
  • water, vitamins, minerals, carbs, etc.
  • prolly other awesome shit we don’t even know about yet because we’ve barely scratched the surface of this research!
These ingredients change hour-to-hour according to the baby’s needs. It will even add more water on hot/dry days. Fuck, breastmilk kills cancer in a petri dish.

Breastmilk. is. not. a. bodily. fluid. It. is. liquid. gold.

3.) When you tell a woman to go to the bathroom to breastfeed, you are perpetuating the notion that it is dirty and shameful and needs to be hidden away. This idea is the biggest barrier to achieving breastfeeding goals in the United States. Because women feel ashamed, they often stay isolated at home when they should be spending time out and about with friends and family and having, like, a life. This isolation can contribute to postpartum depression.

From the Surgeon General’s Call to Action to Support Breastfeeding:

Women may find themselves excluded from social interactions when they are breastfeeding because others are reluctant to be in the same room while they breastfeed. For many women, the feeling of embarrassment restricts their activities and is cited as a reason for choosing to feed supplementary formula or to give up breastfeeding altogether. 

And since we have this culture of shame and privacy surrounding breastfeeding, young girls and women don’t see it enough to learn what is normal/not and how to do it, so they often give up when they run into problems because they don’t realize there’s an easy fix.

Moreover, an infant needs to be integrated into society in order to develop properly. He/she needs to see faces and hear voices. Isolating them – or throwing a blanket over their head – takes this important component of their development away. It also often annoys them because they are under-stimulated.

4.) YOU NEED TO SEE IT. That’s right, YOU. Even if you are a dude. Maybe you aren’t a parent, but you probably have loved ones who are. Or you might become one yourself someday. And if you are American chances are you have no idea how breastfeeding actually works, because you never fucking see it. It’s messy and complicated, and hard. It used to be a part of everyday life, because there weren’t any alternatives – So we learned how to do it by being around it all the time, NBD. The whole sexualization/modesty thing surrounding breasts wasn’t a thing until like the mid-20th century. Check out this 1871 drawing of a woman breastfeeding IN FUCKING CHURCH:


She’s covered head to toe, in accordance with modesty standards of the time – except for her breast, about which the people around her give zero fucks.

More from the Surgeon General:

In American culture, breasts have often been regarded primarily as sexual objects, while their nurturing function has been downplayed. Although focusing on the sexuality of female breasts is common in the mass media, visual images of breastfeeding are rare, and a mother may never have seen a woman breastfeeding. 
Mothers need to see it. Future mothers need to see it. Future fathers need to see it. Family members need to see it. Everybody needs to see it. SO THEY FUCKING GET USED TO IT.
So, no, I’m not gonna go to the bathroom to feed my kid. If you don’t want to see it, then DON’T. FUCKING. LOOK." 

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Bill Cosby IS A Rapist

"Rape culture = NEEDING Cosby to admit he's guilty before we believe it. If that's the standard, almost no one would be guilty of rape."
I get it, it can be hard to imagine someone that you grew up looking up to as being someone who could do something so horrendous to so many people, but at the end of the day, Bill Cosby is an ordinary man who is as capable of committing a crime as anybody is and he did commit a crime. A horrible, horrible crime.

Here are the women who’ve gone public about Bill Cosby:
  • 1. Kristina Ruehli said Cosby raped her at 22 in 1965, when she was a secretary at a talent agency.
  • 2. Carla Ferrigno said Cosby tried to rape her in 1967 and she had to fight him off.
  • 3. Joan Tarsis said Cosby raped her in 1969.
  • 4. Cindra Ladd said Cosby also raped her in 1969. She wrote about it for the Huffington Post.
  • 5. Victoria Valentino said Cosby raped her in 1970. She later spoke about the incident with the Washington Post.
  • 6. Autumn Burns said Cosby raped her in 1970 too.
  • 7. Louisa Mortiz said Cosby raped her in the dressing room of Johnny Carson’s Tonight Show in 1971.
  • 8. Donna Motsinger said Cosby raped her in 1971. She later sued.
  • 9. Katherine McKee said Cosby raped her in the early 1970s while she was on tour with Sammy Davis Jr.
  • 10. Helen Hayes said Cosby stalked her and her friends in 1973 before groping her.
  • 11. Judy Huth said Cosby took her to the Playboy Mansion in 1974, when she was 15, and raped her. She later sued.
  • 12. Tamara Green said Cosby drugged her and tried to rape her in the early 1970s. She went public on the Today Show in February.
  • 13. Marcella Tate said Cosby took her to the Playboy Mansion in 1975, gave her a drink that made her pass out, and then woke up the next morning naked with him in a strange bed.
  • 14. Therese Serignese said Cosby drugged and raped her in 1976. She later sued.
  • 15. Shawn Brown said Cosby drugged and raped her in 1973, while the two were in a relationship. Brown later gave birth to Cosby’s daughter, Autumn Jackson.
  • 16. Joyce Emmons said Cosby drugged her in the late 1970s, and that she later woke up in bed with one of Cosby’s friends.
  • 17. P.J. Masten said Cosby drugged and raped her when she worked as a Playboy Bunny in Chicago in 1979.
  • 18. Linda Kirkpatrick said Cosby drugged and raped her in a dressing room at the Las Vegas Hilton in 1981.
  • 19. Lynn Neal (an assumed name) said Cosby drugged and raped her in 1981.
  • 20. Janice Baker Kinney said she was drugged and raped by Cosby in 1982.
  • 21. Janice Dickinson said she was drugged and raped by Cosby in 1982.
  • 22. Renita Chaney Hill said she was repeatedly drugged and raped by Cosby while she was in a relationship with him between 1982 and 1986. The relationship began when she was 15.
  • 24. Heidi Thomas said she was drugged and raped by Cosby in 1984.
  • 23. Beth Ferrier said she was drugged and raped by Cosby after ending an affair with him in the mid-1980s.
  • 25. Beverly Johnson said she was drugged and almost raped by Cosby in the mid-1980s.
  • 26. Sammie Mays said she was drugged and raped by Cosby in the mid-1980s.
  • 27. Barbara Bowman said she was drugged and raped by Cosby in 1986. She later sued and wrote a Washington Post op-ed titled “Bill Cosby Raped Me. Why Did It Take 30 Years for People to Believe My Story?”
  • 28. Lisa Jones said Cosby tried to rape her in 1986. She was 17.
  • 29. Chelan, whose last name hasn’t been made public, said Cosby drugged and raped her in 1986.
  • 30. Jena T. (shown above) says that Cosby began to groom her when she was 17, and forced her to give him a handjob in 1988.
  • 31. Lisa, whose last name has not been released, said Cosby drugged and raped her in 1988. She was 21.
  • 32. Jewel Allison said she was drugged and raped by Cosby at his home in the late 1980s. She later called him a “very sick sociopath.”
  • 33. Kacey, whose last name hasn’t been released, said Cosby drugged and raped her in the early 1990s.
  • 34. Angela Leslie said Cosby tried and failed to drug her in 1992 before making her give him a handjob.
  • 35. Lili Bernard said Cosby raped her in The Cosby Show studio in 1992.
  • 36. Michelle Hurd said Cosby would make her do “weird acting exercises were he would move his hands up and down my body” in 1995. She turned down his advances to go to his house.
  • 37. Lachele Covington filed a police report in 2000 saying Cosby tried to make her grope him.
  • 38. Andrea Constand said Cosby drugged and raped her in 2004. She later sued and settled out of court.
  • 39. Chloe Goins said Cosby drugged and sexually assaulted her in 2008. She’s since lawyered up, but Cosby has yet to be charged.

Many stood by him and refused to believe these women, but let's be honest. If there's this many people saying that he did something wrong, then there's definitely something going on, whether it's something people want to believe or not as it is just incredibly unlikely that dozens of women would just come out of nowhere to target and accuse him of this for no reason.
Bill Cosby sexually abused/assaulted and RAPED these women and they came out about it, but it took a confession for people to believe them? Sometimes it’s hard to see patriarchy. And sometimes it isn’t.
"Now we know.  
In 2005 Bill Cosby admitted, under oath, to drugging several women with the intention of having sex with them. (To be clear, sex without one party’s consent, is called rape.) But in the intervening hours since the report first emerged, the realities of rape culture – its insidiousness and pervasiveness – have become all the more clear.  
Even now, in the wake of the Cosby news, people and media outlets are still using language that simultaneously downplays and sensationalizes what he did. Headlines like, Cosby’s “Sex Bombshell” that don’t use the word “rape” perpetuate this idea that what this man did was creepy, yet somehow benign. Furthermore, this news is not a bombshell. We’ve known about Cosby’s history of assault since last year. Really, it’s been out there – but ignored – for at least 10 years.   
The fact Cosby’s leaked confession holds more weight than the voices of over 40 women who have come out with accusations against him over the years, is horrifying. We needed “proof” before we could believe the victims. Jill Scott came out last night to condemn Cosby after vigorously defending him last year, but added that all she needed was “proof” that he did it – as if the stories of 40 women from all different walks of life were not enough to suggest that he is rapist.  
Proof beyond a reasonable doubt is needed in a court of law, but the court of public opinion does not require the same standards. We should be able to decide for ourselves and listen the stories of Cosby’s accusers who have gained nothing by speaking out.  
There have been suggestions that Cosby’s wealth, his standing in the black community, his celebrity, all allowed him to get away with this for so long. And still, even now, some people suggest that this is some kind of wild conspiracy to bring down a prominent black man. But this isn’t strictly about celebrity, or money, or access, or respectability politics – we should stop looking for one thing to blame. This is about the intersection of all those things, and how, with the addition of sexism and misogyny, they make stories like this a reality. Rest here."

The fact of the matter is that he should not be allowed to get away with this after hurting all of those women. He committed a crime and he should be punished for what he did. If that means a jail sentence, which it should, then so be it.

As for those of which might say
"No the reason why ppl doubted these women was that they waited decades to come forward and formally accuse Bill Cosby."
Or something along those lines:

Coming out about having had this kind of thing happen to you can be very scary. There are many cases where a victim of rape has come out only for everyone to be on the rapists side and turn on the victim, even blame the victim. 
Of course it's even harder to come out about it when the person who raped you is someone with fame attached to their name (I mean, honestly, I'm sure there were women who tried to take action right after it happened but were shut down by his money and power and pushed back into the dark with his actions). People would accuse you of lying or say "you're just trying to get money or attention out of them for something they didn't do". It's a very hard thing to go through and come out about, and for many people, when it happens to them, they just shut down. It can take years to finally come out of the psychological and mental/emotional issues it can cause and finally say "this is what happened and this is what I went through and this is the person that did it to me". It's NOT easy. So when it comes to all of those women finally coming out about it now rather than when it happened: Did you ever stop to think that they were scared and only when they saw other women coming forward did they find the courage to do the same?

Often times people won't come forward about something that happened to them until they see that other people went through the same thing and they realize "hey, I'm not alone, maybe something can be done about what i went through". It honestly amazes me how some people can be so ignorant about this kind of thing and how it just doesn't click in their head that if they haven't gone through what these women have, maybe they just don't know what it's like and that they should just shut their ignorant mouths. If you haven't gone through what these women have or what other victims of sexual assault/abuse/rape have, then you have no room to talk about "oh they should have just come out immediately after it happened". That's just not the way it works.

This reminds me of a book titled Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson in which the main character, Melinda, is raped during a party. The entire book is about Melinda finding her voice, and the courage to speak about what happened to her while dealing with her friends having dropped her and leaving her to become a social outcast (after she called 911 at the party but not knowing what to say, ran home, leaving the police to come and break up the party, which subsequently led to some people getting arrested.) and just in general being a 13-14 year old girl getting through her freshmen year of high school and dealing with a not-that-great home life. I definitely recommend it. If you don't like reading, there's a movie adaptation as well.



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Monday, July 6, 2015

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck Are Divorcing

So what? They were a great couple, they have 3 kids, and people loved them together. That doesn't mean it's going to work out and that they'll be together forever. They couldn't make it work, it got hard and they tried to fix things but they just couldn't do it so it's ending. Why is everyone crying about it and talking about it like it's something they're going through? Why are you crying over a relationship that wasn't even yours?

People magazine, for one, keeps posting about it. Like, Jen and Ben even took a trip to the Bahamas with their kids just to escape the paparazzi after letting out the news that they're divorcing because they knew this would happen. I'm sure this is hard for them, they're both having to lean on close friends and family during this time for emotional support and I'm sure their kids are having a hard time and trying to understand what's going on. I get that they're famous, but they're famous 'cause they're actors. Their acting career is what you should focus on. Not their personal and private lives.

Would you like it if strangers were prying into your relationships and making comments about your divorces and prying into your personal life in general? I don't understand why that kind of shit is accepted simply because these people are famous. I get that it can be interesting, but if you have to care about someone else's life and business, focus on the good things people are going through, don't continually share their bad and unfortunate times and make it harder or worse for the celebrity that may be going through those times.
It's simply not your business.

Also, I mean, I get that it's an attempt at making a living, but paparazzi are creeps and stalkers. That kind of shit wouldn't be acceptable if it was an ordinary person getting harassed by paparazzi, so why are they allowed to harass celebrities?